You’ve met someone, and the sparks are definitely flying.
The two of you have been chatting it up on dates and by texts and calls, but you haven’t made the leap from casual dating to exclusivity.
But you’d like it to happen – sooner rather than later.
At this point, you may be wondering how long the talking stage will last before you commit to one another.
Familiarizing yourself with the talking phase and all that it entails can help you feel more comfortable dating and getting to know someone new at any stage of your life.
What Is the Talking Stage?
This stage is the time spent getting to know someone without officially committing to them romantically.
When you first begin dating someone, there is no way to know whether you will still get along in a week or even a few months.
The talking phase of any new relationship allows both parties involved to get to know more about one another’s personalities, similarities, and differences before choosing to commit to one another.
There are a few things to keep in mind about the talking stage of a relationship.
It’s useful to protect your feelings: If you’ve ever jumped headfirst into a relationship only to feel burned or hurt later, a talking stage is extremely beneficial. Without fully committing to someone you just met, you can spend more time figuring out if they are truly right for you.
You are allowed to talk to others: During the talking stage while dating, you can talk to numerous potential partners while remaining guilt-free.
The length of a talking stage may vary: The duration of a talking stage in each relationship you enter may vary depending on your personality as well as what you and your potential partner are looking for in a relationship.
One other thing to keep in mind – if you’re sleeping with this new person, you may want to find out if they are sleeping with other people.
Also, for some, physical intimacy during this early stage can confuse things and compel you to miss some red flags because the sex is great.
How Long Should You Talk to Someone Before Dating? 7 Things to Consider
Knowing how long this stage lasts depends on factors such as your personality, what you are looking for in a relationship, and the type of partner you are interested in.
Let’s look at some considerations that can help you know what to expect.
1. Your Personalities
When you are curious about the stage of your relationship, keeping both of your personalities in mind is helpful.
For instance, those who are introverted will likely require more time to warm up to one another before they are ready to make a commitment.
Those who are extroverted may find it easier to express themselves along with their own wants and needs in a new relationship.
Because everyone is unique, they will likely have different thoughts and preferences about when they feel comfortable committing to a relationship.
2. The Distance Between You
Distance is a major factor in any relationship. Long-distance relationships are difficult enough even after you are beyond the talking stage of your relationship.
When you are away from your partner, it can be challenging to keep up with communication while ensuring the relationship remains fresh and exciting. If you are distant from your partner while getting to know them, you may need more time before you feel comfortable committing.
Without the ability to spend time in person regularly, you may feel you need additional weeks or even months before dating exclusively.
3. Relationship Wants and Needs
Not everyone who is dating is interested in long-term commitments or marriage. Whenever you start talking with a potential romantic partner, be upfront and honest about your wants and needs.
Being clear when you are first getting to know one another can save you from heartbreak or feeling let down later on in the relationship.
By defining your wants and needs with prospective partners, you will also save time and avoid getting stuck with someone who can’t or won’t meet those needs.
4. Communication Ease
How easy is it for you to communicate with the person you are currently talking to and considering a relationship with?
Do you find it easy to ask them questions or share personal stories with them each day? How frequently do you communicate with the person you are in a talking stage with?
Does the level of communication you have with one another feel adequate for your needs and the type of relationship you want?
Spend time assessing and evaluating the level of communication you have with any potential partner to determine if they are the right fit for you.
5. Taking Initiative
When you are getting to know someone, observe how they communicate with you and if they initiate communication, suggestions, and plan more than you.
Depending on your preferences, this factor may mean more to you than others. If you are seeking a romantic partner that is confident and comfortable making and solidifying plans, you will want your partner to take initiative at least as much as you do.
However, if you prefer to be in the driver’s seat when it comes to conversation topics and plans, you may want someone less proactive. You’ll discover that during this early stage.
6. Clues the Relationships Is Progressing
If you are unsure of how long the talking stage should last, keep an eye out for hints that your partner is interested in taking the relationship to the next level.
If this new person hints that they want to see you more or have developed intense feelings for you, this may be a sign they want to make the connection more serious.
If you notice these hints, determine if this is the direction you would like for the relationship to go as well.
7. Going On Dates
While the talking stage of a relationship can be a “pre-dating” time in which you are friends with your prospective partner, there are no rules against going out on dates during this phase.
Going out on dates while you are in this stage is a great way to spend quality time with someone new without committing to them exclusively.
When you spend time together in person, you gain valuable insights into their personality, manners, and sense of humor. You can better discern if the friendship has ignited the spark of romance.
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Common Questions About The Talking Stage
Are you new to the talking stage or want to ensure you navigate the dating scene intelligently?
Should you talk every day in the talking stage?
It depends on the two individuals involved in the relationship. First, does talking mean talking in person, by phone, or with texts? One of you might be fine texting a couple of times a day but only talking when you meet up in person.
The other might want to talk by phone every day – which is more of a commitment of time but can help you get to know each other better.
If one party is much less responsive than the other, talking every day won’t work. At this early stage, you don’t want to pressure or feel pressured.
You’ll know when it’s time to put on the brakes and take a step back when talking to someone new. If either party feels bombarded or smothered when they are getting to know someone, they are much more likely to pull away.
How do you know if the talking stage is going well?
You will likely feel it in your gut and your heart. You should find it easy to talk to your new partner without feeling nervous or bored. You’ll easily come up with topics to talk about without awkward silences. And hopefully, you’ll laugh a lot and shift into a conversational flow that feels natural.
When the talking stage is going well, both partners involved enjoy speaking with one another and find the level of communication between them to be satisfying.
What are the rules in the talking stage?
While there are no set or clearly defined rules for the talking stage of dating, there are a few points to keep in mind when you are first getting to know someone new, such as:
Ease in: Ease into the talking stage with little to no expectations. Jumping immediately into talks about commitment or marriage is a red flag for just about everyone.
Allow yourself to explore: Don’t limit yourself to talking with one potential partner. Communicating with multiple potential dating partners can help you to learn more about your own wants and needs.
Don’t set a time limit: The talking stage might last a few weeks for one couple, and nearly a year for a long-distance couple. Don’t put yourself in a box or set a time limit if you find a real and genuine connection.
When you want to get to know a romantic interest as you learn more about yourself, becoming comfortable during a talking stage is key.
Use this essential time to be curious, interested, and engaged in discovering who this person is and why (or why not) they might be right for you.